My friend Leanne has a monthly group called “The Woman’s Intuition Group”. We met yesterday and the topic was Happiness. I was actually the one who suggested the topic and very much enjoyed the discussion. I love it that I am a happy person. I like to see the bright side of a situation and I like to encourage others too as well. I say all of this because it has just come up for me that I am actually feeling rather self-righteous about being so happy. I choose to see the world from my rose colored glasses, but I am often trying to tell others to look through my glasses… not their own. I pride myself on being able to see struggle as a way of healing. When an issue comes up I try to work through it swiftly. This is all very wonderful… for me! It is not my place to judge where someone else is. I have found myself doing this very thing recently and often. If you might recall my first post “Let’s Talk about Cake”, I said that it would be very confining to put everyone into each others’ boxes. Well this is true. I like to think that I have made progress in the last couple of years on this path of growth. I know that every situation is a way to grow. So why have been so quick to judge the ease at which others are working through their issues? Why am I struggling with everyone else’s process? I “should” just focus on myself, right. The quick answer is “yes”, deal with your own stuff and let others deal with their stuff.

It is true that we should all deal with our own stuff. It is also true though that sometimes being outside of our situation gives a new and enlightening perspective. I can sometimes see why a person might be in a situation. I am sure that others can see my patters more clearly than I can. That is the beauty of a different perspective. Another perspective can be welcome when it comes from a place of compassion. I recently have not been looking at situations with compassion. I have been looking at situations with a feeling of superiority. I did not write this to beat myself up about it. I chose to write about this today because I feel it is something that I am learning everyday. Every day I try to live my life with more compassion. I am excited to see that I have made progress. I am excited to know that I noticed that I was judging. It is the noticing that helps us work through it and heal.


When I was in high school, though I was still more optimistic than most teenagers, I did have my share of angst. Recently I was doing some purging of old stuff. I ran across a journal from these high school days. I read a few passages and all these feelings flooded in.

I would say that I was somewhat of a ghost in high school. I was not part of any one particular group. I floated around to whatever person would talk to me that day. It was painful not to have true friends. When I look back now, I have to say I am grateful for this. During these days in high school of this feeling of displacement, I learned so much. I did a lot of observation. I noticed how each group interacted with one another. As much as I longed to be part of these groups I also saw beneath these friendships. I knew that even though these people would spend every lunch together, they were not really true friends. They would talk about each other behind their backs and say nasty things. There was so much jealousy and anger.

I am now a grown woman. I have some very true friends and I am so happy. I still observe relationships. I still see the same false friendships everywhere. Is this something that is just part of life? I would love to say that I personally have it all figured out, but alas I do not. I too find myself being false. Why? For me, it comes down to two major things… wanting to fit in and being good enough. I have made progress with my belief that I am perfect just the way I am. I really do believe we all are. So why still is it so hard to stand up and be me? Again I am grateful for the gift that I was given, this ability to see behind the curtain. A great teacher said one time “just by noticing, you can heal it”. I believe this to be true, so I must be on my way.

As I observe my close unit of friends and family I see beautiful people that really do work hard and love each other.

How do people step out of this role as ordinary, as said by the media and everyone else, and step into extraordinary roles. How does one become the head of a huge corporation or a major face on film? I know, I know there are tons and tons of books written on the subject, but they cannot even explain the truth behind the how and why. It really is not something you can define.

This leads me to ask, can anybody become this extraordinary? Can anyone have what it takes to be a millionaire? I know for myself even the thought of it actually kind of scares me. What will everyone think of me? Will they all just like me because I have money? Will they judge every action I make because they want me to fail? So let’s say I work through all of those fears, then a new set of fears come up? What kind of person would I become? Would I become shallow and elitist? Would I really give to great causes because I have the money to do it? Or would I really just be me with more money and more attention.

Why do we give so much attention, adoration, curiosity and desire to money and fame? It seems that it is part of our make-up to want safety and security. I look at the media and it makes me sad that we can idolize and scrutinize these extraordinary people so easily. I wonder, if we brought our attention back to ourselves and tried our best to be our best, if we would have such bipolar attitudes toward money and the people that have it?

I like to think that I have really good ideas. Are my ideas and who I am the makings of an extraordinary person? I believe I already am!

I have a lot of girlfriends that are on this merry-go-round of super stress out. It starts first with a need to have a perfect house and perfect kids and taking care of the perfect house and picking up the slack at work, and, and, and! When you suggest that they are doing too much, it comes out in anger or tears, or both. “I know I do this and this and this and this and I do not get any help.” Then you ask why do you do all these things? This is a very good question.

The image in my head is the circus performer that is standing on one foot, has three plates spinning and is hopping through hoops. Control. If you put the one plate down then the other 20 could fall. Then fear takes over. “If I don’t do it all then who will do it. Then on top of all of this stuff I do no one even says thank you.”

I offer a solution. Surrender! Can you surrender? Can you just allow the day to unfold before you instead of having every moment decided and planned out? Can you ask for help? Can you allow that house to just be? I feel it already the anxiety. No way! My Mom will be angry if I do not take her to the Doctor. My husband will be angry if the house is not clean. The kids need new clothes for school, I will let them down. Do you see a theme here? Every one of the fears comes back to a fear of what other people think of you? Truth be told, every single person sees things differently. Each and every person has their own perspective. You could try and try and try, but no one will ever see you the way you want them to. The only person that could ever see you that way is you. I am talking about seeing the “real” you, the “I am” perfect from deep inside me. When you can surrender to a true belief that you are perfect just the way you are, the need for control looses it hold on you.

Writing a blog about peace is difficult, especially when most of the news is negative. I feel like we do not even want to hear about a concept we are so far from.

Can we bring peace home and into our lives?

In the last two years I have made a journey from the outside in. I am still on this crazy ride and plan to go where it takes me. I have spent some time looking at peace and happiness. A major catalyst for this transformation was the statement “you are in control of your own happiness”. At first those words stung. How can I be happy when there is so much unhappiness around me. When I finally surrendered to that statement an amazing thing happened. I stopped. I stopped pushing so hard to have everyone see what I wanted them to see and I finally allowed myself to see life. It was a shift. With this great shift came peace. When I embraced the control of my happiness, I realized that I had an effect on the beauty of my life. Everyone has their own perspective or filter that they see life through. I chose the rose-colored ones and I see beauty.

I was saddened to hear about the attacks on Oslo, Norway. From my perspective Norway was the place that had peace figured out. This was their first “act of violence” since World War II. It does remind me that each individual person and each individual nation are not protected against hate and violence. I sit here at my computer in the middle of America and find myself looking out into the world saying that is sad, but that can’t happen to me, personally.The truth is we are all collectively feeling the effects of hatred and violence. We might read the words of this awful act on Norway and say “That man needs to pay for what he has done!” I believe that by reacting with more hate and violence will create more hate and violence. Is there another way? Some of the most famous spiritual leaders would say turn the other cheek or love those who hurt you. How can you even think to love this person who did such an awful act. How can anyone forgive this man? Forgive what he did? What if our love and forgiveness changed this man and made him truly sorry for his awful act? Please know that I can not begin to feel, understand  or condone, why someone could do this. I am only presenting a different perspective, the perspective of these great spiritual leaders. What if we sent love and healing to this situation, instead of hatred and fear? 

The word peace in the dictionary has 17 different meanings. They range from ‘to be calm’ to ‘maintain order’. It is no wonder we have hard time actually having peace. With so many definitions of the word itself, can anyone really even know what “World Peace” should look like? Is “World Peace” even plausible?

From my perspective I see the world as beautiful and diverse. Of course there is war, famine, terrorism and hatred all around the word. When you only see those negative things how can you see the beauty in each individual place. In 2002 my Husband and I went to Amsterdam. The comments I have received about going there range from “how were the coffee shops?” to “did you get to go to the Red Light District?” Though those were parts of our trip; that was not what made Amsterdam interesting to me. I was absolutely in love with the individuality of the people that live there. It was the melting pot of the American Dream. The energy there was really one of comfort. I am sure that if you were to peek down below the surface you will find some hatred and scandal in Amsterdam. You will find hatred and scandal everywhere when you are looking for it.

As I stated in my about me page I am an extreme optimist. I am in search of beauty. From my perspective, peace begins in me. All 17 definitions of peace applied to me; can help me see peace in the world. When I am at peace I see the peace in others. When I am at peace I see peace in Nations.

I would love to hear your perspective of peace. Do you have a grand idea on how to have “World Peace”?

I really like science. I love to find out how things work. I like to problem solve. I also feel like I have some really good ideas.
I found this clip on the NPR website and it made me think… Can we use this concept for a renewable energy source? If we can, is it being done? This clip states that you can concentrate the energy of the sun into a more intense (1000x) beam. There are all sorts of things this could be harnessed for.

I would love to hear what you think of this. Do you know if it is already being done?

I have two darling daughters, they are five and seven. Whenever there is talk of a birthday party, a birthday, a party, a gathering or well anytime for that matter… they ask about CAKE. This is true for all kids really. They love cake. When you yell “CAKE” at a birthday party all the kids can not contain their joy! They yell “CAKE”! They might even sing a song about cake while they get their piece. “We love cake” they may chant. Then they sit down to eat it and they eat the frosting on the top. The rest of the cake just sits there until Mom comes and throws it in the trash. Truth be told, kids really do not like cake. They absolutely love the idea of cake. The cake… not so much.

Well I believe that this is true about World Peace. We as humans really and truly love the idea of World Peace. Yes I said the idea. I think a few are appalled that I could mention such a thing. “No I am sure I do want World Peace?” you might say. How dare she claim that I could not want everyone who is suffering in the world to find peace? I am sure that is true. It is true. The only problem is we want their peace to be our idea of peace. We want the peace around the world to fit in a pretty little box that we can look at and say “Isn’t that nice?”

We all have a very unique perspective and how hard would that be to make everyone in the world fit into your box. That is a lot of boxes and a lot of confinement.

I by no means claim to have any true ideas about how to have true World Peace, but I would like to explore the world. I want to taste other types of cake and perhaps I won’t just eat the icing, maybe I will really like the cake.

Share peace of cake by siyo

Facebook Twitter More...

peace of cake by siyo

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2 other followers